*The full 1st Letter of Leclair to the New Testament Baptist Church is linked here. Check it out!
DID YOU KNOW?
ETERNAL LIFE IS A “FREE GIFT
The Lord Jesus Christ paid the
FULL PRICE for the salvation of your soul. HE “gave himself for our sins,” (Galatians 1:4a). JESUS, the Son of
God, “loved me, and gave himself for
me.” (Galatians 2:20b).
Now because “by his own blood he entered in once into the holy place, having
obtained eternal redemption for us.” (Hebrews 9:12b), there remains no
price for us to pay! “It is finished:”
(John 19:30a). They always get people with this kind of
hook. “Hey everyone! It’s free! Never mind that some guy two thousand years ago
died a bloody death on a cross for you personally without any inclination or
desire from your end – we’re redeemed for the mistakes that two people made
thousands of years ago who have nothing to do with us, and now we can go to
Heaven for free!
We are “justified freely by his grace” (Romans 3:24a). Salvation is “Not of works, lest any man should boast.”
(Ephesians 2:9). Still a good sales pitch here: “don’t
bother doing anything with your life because good works won’t make a
difference; Heaven is already a free ride. God “hath saved us, and called us with an holy calling, not according to
our works, but according to his own purpose and grace, which was given us in
Christ Jesus before the world began,” (II Timothy 1:9). Uh oh….what kind of purpose is god’s? Oh and by the way, god knew he was
going to nail his son to a cross before the world even began…which is
extraordinarily disgusting on his part. Pre-meditated…I believe we call that
murder in the first degree.
As the Bible, God’s Word, says, “Therefore we conclude that a man is
justified by faith without the deeds of the law.” (Romans 3:28) “For by grace
are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: IT IS THE GIFT OF GOD:”
(Ephesians 2:8). So don’t worry about breaking laws and
such. Murder 1 is ok because we live according to god’s law which, as we all
should know by now, is excruciatingly bloody.
CHURCH MEMBERSHIP CANNOT SAVE YOU.
The Bible says, “As it is written, There is none righteous,
no, not one:” (Romans 3:10). “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory
of God;” (Romans 3:23). We might have been made in his
image, but that doesn’t mean we compare to the grace of god. After all, perfect
beings can screw up sometimes to right?...well…not according to the definition
of perfect, but we can skip lightly over that in our ignorance. Sin
is the problem, and belonging to a church will NOT take it away. Jesus Christ
Himself said, “Verily, verily, I say
unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.” (John
3:3b). You heard the man: crawl back up into your
mother’s womb as she crawls back into her mother’s womb, as she crawls back
into her mother’s decaying womb, as she crawls back into her mother’s skeletal womb and get ready to be born again.
It’s all pearly gates and puffy clouds from there. Oh, and stay away from
church.
YOU CANNOT TAKE YOUR CHANCES.
The Bible says, “And as it is appointed unto men once to
die, but after this the judgment:” (Hebrews 9:27).
You really don’t know for sure how much time is left of your life. “Whereas ye know not what shall be on the
morrow. For what Is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little
time, and then vanisheth away.” (James 4:14). That
seems to me to be a reason to take my chances. If I don’t know when I’m going
and god already had this worked out with is ill-conceived son before the world
even began, then I think I may as well take my chances; there’s nothing I can
do about it all anyway.
YOU CANNOT SAVE YOURSELF.
The Bible says, “that a man is not justified by the works
of the law,” (Galatians 2:16a). It also says, “we are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are as
filthy rags;” (Isaiah 61:6a). So again, don’t worry
about the law and don’t bother washing either, or if you do, find something
better than righteousness to clean up with. Maybe try vigilantism or
sociopathy.
SALVATION IS “FREE” FOR ALL.
The Bible says, “For whosoever shall call upon the name of
the Lord shall be saved.” Goddamn! There…am I good? I’m
saved now? I called upon the name of the lord…with only a little vanity.
(Romans 10:13). The Bible says, “Christ
Jesus came into the workd to save sinners;” (I Timothy 1:15b). “For Christ also
hath once suffered for sins, the just for the unjust, that he might bring us to
God,” (I Peter 3:18a).So he did it once before and I
suppose fucked it up somehow and has to come back a second time to get things
right? This whole ‘god is a perfect being’ thing really isn’t working for me
right now.
IF YOU DO NOT GET SAVED…
The Bible says, “And the smoke of their torment ascendeth
up for ever and ever: and they have no rest day nor night,” (Reveleation
14:11a). “For the wages of sin is death;” (Romans 6:23a). But this death is
more than just physical death. It is an “ETERNAL BURNING”! The Bible says, “But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the
abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, ALL
LIARS, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone:
which is the SECOND DEATH.” (Revelations 21:8).Well,
thank goodness they already cleared up that it’s Jesus’ mission to save
sinners. Otherwise we’d all really be screwed, eh?
HOW “YOU” CAN BE SAVED.
·
The Bible calls for “REPENTANCE TOWARD GOD,” (Acts 20:21b). “Repentance” is a change of
heart which causes you to turn from your way of life toward God, accepting the
Bible facts whoa whoa, I missed when these things were
known as fact… that you are guilty as a sinner before Him, and that you
are unable to deliver yourself from the punishment of hell, due you because of
your sin. Hey, god! Remember, I’m not the one who
created sin buddy. That’s on you. So…do you burn in hell then too? Or do you
get a “get out of hell free card” since you made that too? (for those of you
who wonder what I mean: god created everything right? Heavens, Earth, life,
knowledge…the tree of knowledge…he also created a little shit of a serpent and
threw him in a really nice garden. He created everything, so don’t try and come
back with “No! It’s the Devil! It’s all his fault!” God created the little
serpent bastard in the first place – end of story.
·
The Bible also calls for “FAITH TOWARD OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST.” (Acts 20:21b). Faith is
putting “complete trust in Jesus Christ” as your only means of clearing your
guilt and delivering your soul from the punishment of hell. Without any hint of verifiable evidence…in case they forget
to mention that later on in this piece.
The Bible says, “Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou
shalt be saved,” (Acts 16:31a). Oh thank goodness! Back
to the simple sales pitch. All I have to do is believe in some guy lived two
thousand years ago and I get a free ticket to paradise. That’s more like it.
If you will receive Jesus Christ into your heart, “by trusting Him to save your
soul,” you will become a son of god and spend eternity in heaven. “Bu as many as received him, to them gave
he power to become the sons of God, eve to them that believe on his name:”
(John 1:12). GOD PROMISES He will save you if you will trust Jesus Christ
as “your” Saviour. “That if thou shalt
confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that
God hath raised him from the dead, THOU SHALT BE SAVED.” (Romans 10:9). Ok now. I was good with the idea that some groovy guy who had
some good and some misguided ideas lived two thousand years ago, but zombie
Jesus? Give me a break.
PLEASE ACCEPT THE “FREE GIFT” OF ETERNAL
LIFE GOD IS OFFERING YOU.
Jesus Christ said, “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are
heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me;
for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For
my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)
If you will accept Jesus Christ
as “your” Lord and Saviour, please pray “with all of your heart:”
Dear God, be merciful to me a
sinner. I am sorry for my sins, and now “trust Jesus Christ” to save me. I now
take Him as “my” Lord and Saviour. I ask for eternal life that He paid for with
His own Blood. I pray this in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
If you
take nothing else from these red letters and my full ‘1st Letter of
Leclair to the New Testament Baptist Church, please take at least these two
words that I think sum up the overwhelming silliness of Christendom:
·
Zombie
·
Jesus
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